A Review of Otto E. Stallworth Jr.’s First Volume of Memoirs Titled- “Are You a N****R or a Doctor?”- Without a Doubt, Five Star Read- Thought Provoking & Emotive

by Jeneane Vanderhoof

Otto E. Stallworth Jr. MD, MBA with the recent release, “Are you a N****r or a Doctor?- gives readers a look at a black man’s world, from his youth until adulthood. With both seriousness, sadness, and humor that, at times, is gallows- and in other parts of the life shared- is just laughter for what life was like for the boy (or man).

For instance- the shock of a boy that grew up, until this time, in a rather urban area and when he travels, for the first time to Beatrice, Alabama. There he has an experience that- while cute in a way, also shows readers the sadness of growing up in a “white-only” culture. Because as Otto explains being a fan of the show Lassie as a boy, so much so that he never missed an episode- being able to emulate the opening scene, where the “white boy” runs through the pasture yelling “Lassie”, the collie running toward him through that same pasture, and as he two meet in the middle, he imagines a green pasture, the whole scene in his head even though he is watching it on television. And, in Birmingham, while visiting an aunt, in the backyard she has loads of land, the very pasture the young boy has dreamt of, and a dog, Buster, to emulate the “white boy” on television he so loved. So, as he begins his run to meet Buster through the pasture, his first step meets “soft, sludgy stuff” that at first, he thinks is quicksand but later discovers it is “cow dung” (or cow poo-poo, as described when he was a boy to his father). This is the first of stories shared in a world that always seems better for whites.

However, “The White-Water Incident” (the title of Chapter 4), is about a trip the boy takes for pictures at a department store in downtown Birmingham. On the drive to the store and then while he and his mother enter and travel through the departments, the world is described just as he saw it as a boy- “white only” signs everywhere, with objects that are much nicer than what is offered to black individuals (if anything is offered at all).

While waiting for his photo to be taken, Otto imagines what water must be like in the “white only” fountain, white, shiny, and not in the basement, along with being the perfect height for a child (none of which was included for black individuals in the store), imagining how spectacular the water must be in that fountain, leads him to do what he knows he is not allowed to do- drink the water at the “white only” fountain. And, as his mother apologizes and tugs him away, he screams out, “It tastes like colored water, Mommy! Tastes like colored water!”- there is humor amongst sadness for readers, that a boy had to go through any of that, in the world as he grew up.

Because, while everything was always the same, how it was offered (and as I said if it even was)- nothing was ever as pretty or nice- for a black individual. To have to submit yourself to getting lesser items because of the way the color of your skin looked, to even not be able to have certain things- the angst that must come within oneself, that a person is made to submit to these absurd rules and different standards, especially children, is monstrous. Whatever is wrong with people who can’t get past sight and see the truth worth of a person? After that, true worth is never found in the way one looks. And without knowing a person’s true worth- there is no right to judge. To me, judgment should only come after looking at one’s actions- if they are honorable, truthful, loving, and caring-

And that these rules were made at all, how can we not judge those who came up with such nonsense? Therein lies the real dichotomy of discrimination- the possibility of judging an individual who is a good person based on looks and not personality, their morals, the things they say and do- However, who has the right to judge at all- no mere mortal does, that I ever heard stated (in any spiritual or biblical sense). Almost all religions seem to leave judgment up to a higher authority, I thought I heard….And then those who do judge on such basis of skin color, are they, not the ones we should judge as a person of poor value- for placing judgment without basis- or basis that is based on the absurd (like skin color).

After graduating high school and onto Howard University- Otto leaves Alabama to go up North, to experience a life much different than what he knew. Leaving behind the Colored and Whites Only signs, he experiences a world that seemed out of reach for so long. He can do things he has never done before- see Nat King Cole, go to his first nightclub, and ballet. But Otto feels that parts of the South cling to him, like his Alabama colloquialism. However, he has just as hard a time understanding Northern accents, as well.

Readers can discover how Otto continues through Howard, with more in-depth stories just the same throughout. As he pledges to a fraternity, falls in love for the first time, becomes a medical student, and finally through his internship and residency- he finalizes his education as a doctor. Many interesting topics are covered in Otto’s life, and usually, there are chapters on them. For instance, you can read about heroin in Harlem in the chapter, Lady Heroin & Who’s That Harlem Lady- getting what feels like a doctor’s perspective on heroin users, which is exactly what it is as Otto writes this memoir later in life, after being a doctor for half of it.

It was then that I realized the difference between his writing and other authors I read. He has written his memoirs like a doctor- something, at first that felt “off” but as I read on, I got used to it and by the end enjoyed it. To me, there were times in his writing where I felt he “cut to the quick” whether it was in his storytelling or the technical aspects of his writing. And that can be a good thing and a good way, I found, reading Otto’s story, to arrange and write a memoir. Because he has managed to arrange his life in a storyline where he tells readers about a major or minor incident in his life, whatever he gives to readers- a moment in time that was sealed with him- and shared for a reason. Stallworth conveys his life well- and makes it very entertaining and thought-provoking for all who will pick this book up.

Otto’s life gets crazier (in some ways) and very exciting (in others) with some of the things that he has done in his life. When he meets some people from Puerto Vallarta, rubbing elbows with the rich, famous, and interlopers- he finds that, if not for some of the luck he had (because of his innate personality), he may have found himself in deep trouble. But Stallworth has a canny knack for getting out of the escapades he almost finds himself in quite easily- especially when readers meet “Dr. Joe ‘’. And a milestone, for a doctor, he finds himself involved with the group Taste of Honey, the first black group to win a Grammy (at that time, in its 21-year history).

The only negative- was that it ended without the end- as this is only the first volume of Otto E. Stallworth’s memoirs. Because, when I got to that last page- I couldn’t wait to turn to the next, the excitement of the life stories shared in the book, by that time, had me at the edge of my seat. So, to find that I didn’t get to some conclusion in Otto’s life and that there were several decades more…As a reader, I’m sure you know that feeling of being glad that there is a lot more to read but that, for now, it must end because the volume has concluded.

I hope that I have given you enough to tantalize you into joining me and reading this memoir- it really is worth the time to delve into Stallworth’s life- for even had he not been a decently great writer (and he is), the life stories are exciting enough many could be delivered in the worst way and still leave the desire to read more. Though the doctor does write a little differently than expected, I felt he chose things from his life to convey to readers much more than just the words that were on the page- and the story on the page (or in the chapter)- as deeper thought and feelings were always evoked, by me, with each chapter.

I’d like to thank Dr. Otto E. Stallworth for one of the best memoirs I have ever read and hope that I get to read many more volumes- and soon!

Happy Reading!